


Villain, Elle

by k8 (paintedmaypole)



Category: Mad Men
Genre: Yuletide 2008
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-25
Updated: 2008-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-18 14:39:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/189925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paintedmaypole/pseuds/k8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes when people get what they want, they realize how limited their goals were.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Villain, Elle

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to Imogen for her advisory work and Aral for the beta. Repeating lines lifted from Mad Men episodes "The Wheel" and "The Mountain King."
> 
> Fandom: Mad Men  
> Written for: ndnickerson in the Yuletide 2008 Challenge

There is no before.

They meet at a bar. A classy bar, at a classy hotel. Joan is standing there, waiting for the bartender to finish with some couple at the other end of the bar and deciding what to order. She's just been to a wedding. The third of the girls from work to get married this year. Joan didn't really like this one, but she went to the wedding anyway. For luck.

Now she's at the bar. She's standing, still waiting to put in an order, and the next thing she knows there's a man next to her holding out something amber colored, with a cherry in it.

"You look like you could use this," he says, sliding it over to her across the top of the bar and grinning.

"But what is it?" Joan asks, reaching out to tap at the side of the glass.

"Something you'll like," he nods at her and sits down in the stool directly to her left. "All girls like cherries, it's a fact. Something they teach us in medical school." He waits like he expects a comment, they probably always comment.

Joan smiles and picks up the glass, takes a sip. "Well, thank you, I was getting tired of waiting for the bartender to notice me."

"Oh," the man smiles, "I'm sure he noticed you."

"If he did he's certainly taking his time coming over here."

"Perhaps he's feeling intimidated," the man smiles and looks her over.

Joan looks back, exhaling smoke away from his face, towards the bar. "You certainly aren't."

"No." He shakes his head. "I'm Greg, Greg Harris."

"Alright," she takes another sip. "That's a nice name."

"Aren't you going to tell me yours?" He looks at her and reaches for his own drink.

"Joan."

"Joan," he puts his glass down again. "I want you to have dinner with me. I want to talk more."

Joan raises one eyebrow at him. "Sometimes when people get what they want, they realize how limited their goals were."

***

Dinner happens a week later. He gets Joan's drink for her and then orders her something with shrimp for the main course. She wouldn't normally pick shrimp, but it tastes fine and it's interesting to try new things sometimes.

Joan asks him about being a doctor and he talks about medical school, how important it was to him to specialize.

"I'm not going to be a simple family doctor," he explains, "I plan on making a name for myself. I'm not ashamed of that."

"You shouldn't be, that's an impressive goal," Joan smiles. "If you didn't strive for the very best for yourself, what would be the point?"

"Well," he grimaces, "you explain that to my father one of these days. He wants me to follow him, pick up and join his little clinic."

"That's sweet," she smiles.

"He doesn't even have his own space, just some rooms on the bottom floor of our house." Greg frowns. "That's not where I see myself."

Later, three dinners later, he asks about past boyfriends.

"Oh," Joan laughs, "let's not talk about that. That's a boring history. I'd rather hear more about you."

She thinks about Paul at work who's started growing a ridiculous beard, trying to look less shallow than he actually is. She thinks to herself, 'I will marry this one.' She doesn't think about birds or sex in beach houses in the summertime. There is no before.

***

Joan thinks that maybe, after they marry and she starts running a new home, maybe she will keep working at Sterling Cooper. Greg talks about medical school and needing to put in some time at the hospital before they can start building a life together, before they can add a house and a new car into the mix. So Joan thinks that staying at Sterling Cooper could be helpful. It's money they can use to start things off.

Greg is less sure. He says they need to wait and see. He says, "You should focus on us now. Won't work just be a distraction?"

She's reading television scripts for Harry Crane these days. It's fun. Maybe they'll move her to television exclusively when she gets married, maybe she can stay on part-time. She looks over at Greg, across the couch, "You'll have so many late nights at the hospital. It'll be good to have something to fill the time."

He doesn't look convinced. "Maybe," he says. "I'll think about it." Then he turns off the television. "Right now I want you to focus on me for a while."

He holds out his right arm and Joan slides over closer, tilting her head up to be kissed. His kisses are always careful. Just a little wet, just a little pressure. Nothing too messy or demanding. He slides his hand down her back, along the line of her zipper, then moves his hand under her skirt.

When he moves his mouth to her neck she's thinking about wedding invitations. About cream paper and maybe a green envelope, for Christmas. She wants there to be holly at the church. Maybe he can wear a bit, in his lapel.

He's moving over her now. Pushing her down so they're lying horizontal on the couch and pushing her skirt up even further.

At work, the new girl, Jane, unbuttoned three buttons yesterday and had every boy in the office standing around her desk, asking questions about the weather. Joan can understand wanting some attention, but distracting nearly a dozen members of the Sterling Cooper workforce is completely unnecessary. Besides, they're all boys. Not one of them a doctor, or someone with the potential to make something of himself. Joan never had to unbutton a blouse to get that sort of attention.

Well, maybe once, but then she just spent a year wasting her time on Roger Sterling. Sometimes when people get what they want, they realize how limited their goals were.

***

She's always been pretty. Her mother told her it would be her greatest asset. Her father said to make sure she got a ring before she did anything else. She never quite managed that part.

The first time she has sex, Joan is still in college. She goes out with some girls for drinks and they meet part of the Yale football team. He isn't the quarterback, but he is still handsome enough. He takes the train into the city to see her three times. The fourth time she goes out with him to someone's lake house in Connecticut. There is a party, but then it is late and everyone is going home except for them and a few other people. He keeps touching her hair and she drinks some more, then they wind up in bed. He doesn't really call again, after that night. Later, she hears from a friend that he has another girl, that this one has even had dinner with his parents. Joan never made it that far.

She decides to enjoy herself instead. Times are changing, a girl can have a good time, and someone will come along at some point and be the right guy, make a good offer. She moves into an apartment in the city with a friend from school. She has her degree and a secretarial certificate. She gets her first job and only has to flirt with the man asking the questions a little bit to smooth the way.

In a year or two, she hears about the opening at Sterling Cooper. She'll make at least ten dollars more a week there. She buys three new dresses and two skirts and sweater sets. She wears a new hat to the interview and the girls on the switchboard assure her that working on Madison Avenue, being at Sterling Cooper, is a great way to find a husband.

She has some money in her pocket now. She has new clothes and goes to all the good parties. There is no before.

***

She slept with Roger for over a year. She liked the attention and the hotels. She liked folding back the covers and sliding into clean sheets. Sometimes Roger would leave first and she'd stay there until checkout time. She'd take a bath and order room service.

She doesn't sleep in hotels anymore. She doesn't have to. Instead, Greg will bring over dinner from the Chinese restaurant near the hospital. They sit and eat dinner, which she scoops out onto plates. He talks about his patients for the week or the boys he's treating during his volunteer work.

They never talk about children. She assumes they'll need to have one or two, eventually, but not yet. At least not until Greg is making a name for himself. It's convenient this way, gives her more time to get ready.

Joan doesn't really understand children. Donald Draper brought his daughter in once. It was Palm Sunday and he threw her at Joan to take care of. The girl spent the whole time looking at things, asking questions. Joan doesn't understand how any parent has the patience to deal with that all of the time, day in and day out.

Marriage, though. She thinks marriage will be when she starts to feel maternal. It's a process. You have to have the pieces in place, then things will begin to change. Joan wonders who she'll be after a year of marriage. Maybe she'll want to leave the city, want a quieter life. Maybe she'll want three children, make friends with the married women in the neighborhood, host dinner parties where she can show off her doctor husband and her new home.

When she was younger, working on Madison Avenue felt like everything, it felt like she'd accomplished all she needed to. She focused on the work when she was at work and the fun whenever she got to leave. She didn't have a steady, that would come eventually. The rest would all fall into place.

Now, when she gets her ring she feels relieved. It's done and settled, just like it is supposed to be. At work, she shows off her new jewelry while Peggy gets another promotion. Peggy also looks at Pete sometimes, like maybe something could have happened but it didn't. Joan assumes that Peggy's jealous, that she wishes she'd done something faster, before Pete was married. Maybe Peggy should have tried harder to be happy as a secretary. Sometimes when people get what they want, they realize how limited their goals were.

***

There is an incident in Mr. Draper's office. Greg wasn't himself. Joan doesn't like to think about it. They go to dinner afterwards, but she can't remember what she ate, just that the vegetables made her sick and she needed to go home early.

She doesn't feel well for a few days and tells everyone that maybe it's just French food, maybe it disagrees with her. She tries not to talk about work, or Roger Sterling, around Greg anymore.

Greg takes her out to dinner at a new, different fancy restaurant, to make up for her getting sick at the French one. He talks about work and how they have him working a lot of nights for the next few months. He says he's sorry if he has been a bit distracted. He gives her a gold chain to make up for it. She thinks it must have cost at least forty dollars.

Peggy moves into her new office. Joan gets one of the girls to call in a service man and take Fred Rumsen's name off the door. Peggy seems happy, her wardrobe has improved slightly and she has a haircut, but she's not looking at anything beyond work. Joan thinks she's wasting the time she has.

Joan was like that once, maybe. She's learned from her mistakes. She had some fun, met some people, but nothing that lasted. Now, she looks at her ring and she plans flower arrangements in her head. She reminds herself, it's all falling into place. She thinks, 'There is no before.'

Sometimes when people get what they want, they realize how limited their goals were.


End file.
